Happy Anniversary, would you like a muffin?
by magicormuggle
Summary: Its been 107 years of peace between France and England. Muffins are eaten. Warning: Lemon, Yaoi, and all that good stuff


Francis M. Bonnefoy stood in the kitchen, his hair tied back, strumming his fingers against the counter, and trying to think of something to make a certain Arthur Kirkland for their anniversary that was today. He had told Arthur he would make the best dinner ever. Sighing again, Francis picked up his phone and called his big sister, Bosnia.

The phone was placed between his cheek and shoulder as he listened to the phone ring four times before it was picked up.

"_Bonjour_?" came the all too familiar voice of the great Bosnian Empire.

Francis smiled at his big sister's voice, "_Bonjour __grande soeur!_"

"What do you want France?"

"I'm at a loss, I have no idea what to cook for my dear Angleterre."

"You? You of all people don't know what to cook? I'm shocked," Bosnia teased with a laugh.

"It's not funny, I need help! S'il vous plaît."

"Alright, alright..." Bosnia sighed and thought for a moment or so, "What about muffins, for a dessert?"

"Muffins? You're kidding right? I'm a master chef! I can do better then muffins," he complained.

"Trust me! Everyone loves muffins! Even that _con_ Scotland," she explained.

Defeated, France sighed, "Fine...I'll make muffins for a dessert...merci Bosnia," he said, hanging up.

Francis began to make dinner and dessert, finally choosing to make Antonio's famous enchilada. He also made the muffins at his sister's choice and picked out some of the finest French wine he had in the house. By the time he had the table set and the food all done, Arthur was home.

Coming into the kitchen, Arthur smiled and looked at the food. "Looks good." Although enchilada's and muffins was a strange combination.

He sat down at the table, head propped up by one arm and asked, "How was your day?"

Pouring himself a glass of wine, Francis smiled at Arthur, "It was fine, I just worked on our dinner." Smiling he poured Arthur his glass. "And yours?" he asked, sitting down and watching the Brit across the table.

"I had to go visit her majesty," Arthur replied, rolling his eyes. "Although I swear, it gets harder for that woman to hear anything I'm saying every day." He paused. "And then I had to go see your president and shake his hand since it is our 'anniversary' and whatnot. That went pretty well..."

"Sounds like fun." Francis replied and took a drink of his wine. Leaning over the table he kissed Arthur's forehead. "Joyeux anniversaire," he smiled and sat back down.

Blushing, Arthur slowly nodded and said, "Yeah, Happy Anniversary...I guess, thanks for cooking me dinner. But...why Hispanic?"

"Well, Antonio has been bragging about how great these things taste, so I decided to cook them my way and show him up." Francis laughed. "And before you ask, Bosnia gave me the idea for the muffins." He gave a little shrug, "Its a nice change in taste."

"Well, I guess anything is better than your 'escargot' and frog legs." Arthur teased, crossing his legs. "What kind of muffins are those exactly?"

"Escargot and frog legs are wonderful." Francis commented and looked at the muffins, "Well, they are chocolate muffins." He looked the other way for a moment, not telling exactly what was in the muffins until Arthur had eaten at least one.

"Yes, I'm sure for you that eating rubber can somehow taste good." He rolled his eyes and picked up his glass of wine, looking at it for a second before putting it back down. "Chocolate is good...so, when do you want to eat?"

Rolling his eyes, Francis picked up his plate and served himself. "Well, before the food gets cold." He laughed a little. "What, do you not want wine? I think I still have some rum," he offered.

"No, no, wine is just fine." Arthur took a sip to prove it, although disgusted by the taste.

Getting up, Arthur grabbed a plate and put an enchilada on it, even though he had just eaten lunch with the queen a few hours earlier. If anything, those people at Buckingham Palace could cook some real good crumpets.

Starting to eat, Francis smiled. These enchiladas weren't too bad, if he didn't say so himself. Smiling at how good it was, he continued to eat and watch Arthur as well, happy that they could spend this time together.

Eating, Arthur at first pretended to ignore the awkward silence before looking up and catching Francis looking at him. "What?" He snapped, furrowing his eyebrows. Although it was their anniversary, he wasn't exactly thrilled to be here...but it was only for one evening and it was for a good reason.

"Hm?" he asked, finishing off his bite of food. "Nothing, you just look good." Winking, Francis took another bite, he knew Arthur wasn't happy to be there, but was it so bad? They had been at peace for some time now and it needed to be celebrated, whether Arthur liked it or not.

Hiding the pink tint in his cheek, Arthur looked down at his food again and tried hard not to shovel or seem desperate to leave.

When he had finished, he set his fork down and sighed. "That was very good, I think you may have almost put Antonio to shame."

Smiling Francis looked at Arthur again. "Merci, Arthur." He stood up, taking the empty plates to the sink. "I'm glad you enjoyed the food," he said as he came back out to the table, sitting himself back down.

Checking his watch, Arthur pretended to be surprised. "Well, would you look at the time! I'd really hate to eat and run but I have this important-...country thing that I gotta do." He stood up, pushing his chair in and said, "Thank you for everything. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

Taking a drink from his glass, France rolled his eyes, "I'm sure," he said with a sigh. "At least take a muffin, I worked so hard on them." He batted his eye in a cute way, because he knew it would get him his way. "I'm glad you enjoyed the dinner."

Arthur sighed and turned to pick up a muffin, taking a few bites. "There, are you happy now?"

Sighing, Francis nodded his head, "Yes, I'm happy_."  
><em>

_"Oh, if only he knew what was really in that muffin,"_ he thought with a little laugh. Francis always won in the end. He gave a little wave to Arthur.

Stopping right before he could get out the door, Arthur made a little face as he felt the blood flowing to all the wrong places in his body. "F-francis? What did you put in this muffin?"

_"I didn't know it would work that fast...well, now I know for next time." _Francis smiled a little and looked at Arthur. "What a person usually puts in a muffin. Sugar, flour, eggs, chocolate, why?" he asked with a grin.

"N-no reason!" Arthur grimaced and shifted uncomfortably. He was probably just imagining things, although this was Francis he was dealing with. "You put something else in this didn't you?" His eyebrow twitched and he groaned a little, trying not to start touching himself.

Standing up, Francis walked over to Arthur, kissing him deeply on the lips, "Just lots and lots of love." He smiled. "But...no. I think that's all I put in those muffins, they were good, non?"

Pulling back, Arthur clenched his fists. "I wouldn't use the word _good_ at all!"

"But, but why not?" he whined and pulled Arthur into a hug, so Arthur's back was to his chest, "I spent all day on those just for you." He kissed at Arthur's neck. "And you don't like them...that crushes my esteem."

Arthur closed his eyes and murmured, "I'm sorry...it's just...I wish you'd tell my what the hell you put in them to turn me on like this!" He was growing more frustrated every second, pushing back into Francis.

"Oh just a little something." Francis smirked, holding onto Arthur's hips as they ground against each other, "I thought today would be the prefect time to just...how you say, let it all out, besides I think it should be your gift to me since I have been so good for the past few months."

"I'll do no such thing!" Arthur shouted, while doing the complete opposite and undoing his own shirt. "If anything, you'll just help me get off and let me go on my way."

Helping remove Arthur's shirt he gave a little laugh, "I want to make love to you Arthur Kirkland, and I know you want to make love to me too," he said, kissing at Arthur's neck again. Francis turned the Brit around so they were facing each other.

"So what if I do?" He groaned, pushing his groin into Francis' and gasping. "Just...let's do it in the bedroom at least."

Gasping, Francis nodded his head, "Alright," he said and picked up Arthur, carrying him to the bedroom. Placing the Brit down on the bed, Francis straddled the others hips.

"Are you actually going to skip the foreplay?" Arthur asked, getting his hopes up just a little bit, even though he knew Francis would never agree to that.

"Skip foreplay? You're sadly mistaken." Francis laughed and kissed at Arthur's chest. "I know how much you love my foreplay."

"I don't know what insane person told you I like this," Arthur spat, biting his lip to keep in any sound, "But they are sorely mistaken!" He reached down to try and unzip his pants and relieve some of the pressure.

Pushing Arthur's hands away from the zipper Francis whispered, "Oh...if only Matthew hadn't invented these blasted things." Francis muttered and slowly started to unbutton the others pants before starting on his own.

"If he hadn't invented them you wouldn't be able to rape people in 0.3 seconds, you should be grateful." Arthur teased, sighing and pushing some of his hair out of his face.

Thinking for a moment, Francis nodded his head, "We could just use the button," he said and pulled off Arthur's pants in one quick movement. Then he slowly started to remove the Union Jack boxers the other had on.

"That takes too long," Arthur moaned, bucking up a bit at the cold air. "Just be glad we don't have tights like the really old days."

"Oh I hated those tights." He agreed. "Far too slow..." he shook his head with a bit of a 'tsk', just enjoying the other squirm, it was always fun to watch Arthur complain. Slowly, he kissed down the others body.

Sighing happily and shifting, Arthur twisted onto the top and looked down at the Frenchman. "It's no fair that I'm completely naked while you're still fully-clothed." He unbuttoned Francis' shirt and leaned down, teasing one nipple with his tongue before moving down and purposely using his mouth to slowly pull down the zipper on the others pants.

Looking up at the Brit, Francis pouted. "Oh, its completely fair." He laughed and helped remove his shirt, groaning and wiggling around, helping Arthur remove his pants. Smirking down at Arthur, he asked, "Happy? Now I'm only in my tri-colors."

"Not quite," Arthur said, finishing off the clothing so that they both were happily naked.

Leaning down, he carefully took Francis into his mouth, looking up at the other with a smirk and swirling his tongue around. "Good enough of a gift?" He whispered before sucking Francis back in again.

Giving a fake laugh, Francis watched Arthur carefully. When Arthur took his member, he groaned and shook his head, "Not even close Cher." he smirked.

Growling, Arthur bobbed his head a little, deep-throating the Frenchman and humming a little bit all the while his emerald eyes glinting mischievously.

Francis groaned at the humming around him, his sapphire eyes looking down at Arthur, knowing he was clearly up to something.

Stopping, Arthur pulled off of Francis with a smack, knowing this would only aggravate him. "You brought this upon yourself," He teased, leaning down and kissing Francis.

Taking the kiss, Francis flipped them around so he was back on top. "I'd be careful what you say Arthur."

Upset, Arthur glared and whispered, "Why'd you do that? I was going to ride you..."

Thinking for a moment, Francis maneuvered them so Arthur was back on top. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what you were thinking," he said and smiled up at Arthur. "The lube is in the top drawer." He pointed to the small nightstand.

"Hmmm...I was thinking something different." Arthur teased.

Shifting a little and moving so that he was lined up with Francis, Arthur slammed himself down without any preparation. "Oh god!" Arthur hoarsely screamed, his muscles screaming in protest and agony as they were all to quickly stretched apart.

"What do you-" Francis wasn't even able to finish his own thoughts as he felt the tightness of Arthur's backside. "Oh, dear God!" he groaned and placed his hands on Arthur's hips.

Rocking a little, Arthur pulled himself up and off, changed the angle and slammed down again, crying out in pleasure.

Francis groaned again, leaning up and kissing Arthur again before he started to thrust up, wanting to cause the most pleasure for his Brit.

Arthur picked up his pace, searching for just the right spot again and again but was continually unable to find it. "God...damn...it..." He bit his lip before reaching down to pump his own member.

Francis swatted at Arthur's hand, and thrust into him, managing to hit just the spot Arthur had been looking for. The Frenchmen then took Arthur's hard member in his hand and started to pump.

With a loud yell, Arthur came all over the both of them, shuddering and almost collapsing. However, he found he was still fully erect, even when he had finished and ground his teeth together. "Dammit Francis! You must've..aah... put a hell of a lot of...oh...shit in that muffin!"

Francis groaned and shrugged, "I didn't know how much to put in." He confessed. "It was just...a little Viagra is all," he finally added.

"Well damn it, it's obviously more than one dose!" Arthur's legs were beginning to ache from moving up and down, but he didn't complain and instead kept going.

"I'm sorry!"

Staying connected, Arthur rolled onto the bottom so that they could go faster and harder. "Just fuck me, please."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Francis smiled and rammed as hard as he could into Arthur's sweet spot. He always aimed to please.

Stars crossed Arthur's vision and he screamed desperately, "O-ooh Francis! There! Please!"

Of course Francis did as Arthur wanted, hitting his prostate time and time again.

The two went at it for more than two hours before Francis fell off to the side, exhausted. "Dear god, I really need to start reading directions more often..."

Groaning, Arthur panted and looked at Francis. "You stupid frog..."

Smiling, Francis kissed Arthur. "Happy Anniversary dear." He fell back onto the pillows, now content.

Blushing, Arthur scooted closer and settled into Francis' arms. "Happy Anniversary, you damn wanker." Closing his eyes, he sighed and whispered, "I love you."

Wrapping his arms around Arthur, Francis smiled. "I love you too," he said and closed his eyes, falling asleep, but not before he reminded himself to thank Bosnia for the muffin idea.

* * *

><p>AN: So...yay for another lemon? :D So yes, April 8th is the 107th anniversary of the singing of the Entente Cordiale between France and England which is why this random smut happened. Don't ask about the muffins, you don't want to know. 0.0 Anyway...please review and we'll give you a *free t-shirt!

Love, M&M

*Sorry, we're all out of t-shirts...please review anyway!


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